What's In A Name?

An Ilocano Green Joke

by icarus

I know of two brothers, Tim and Tom who lost their father at a very young age. We were neighbors in the same barangay and they grew up within my sight. So after being widowed a few years, their mother decided to remarry. By twist of kind fate, she got married to her American pen pal who is not only a good provider but is also loving and kindly and very close to the two boys.

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John is a retired US Marine who loves the beaches and the outdoors so he decided to retire to the easy life of La Union. He treated the boys like they were his own sons and they also take to him like a real father. The three of them were inseparable especially on weekends, constantly on board John's yellow Wrangler Jeep and going into outings, sporting events, fishing and even cockfights which John picked up from another neighbor. Tina could not be happier for his two boys. She felt she made a perfect choice when she married John.

For practical reasons, John decided to formalize the adoption of Tim and Tom. It would reduce much of the hassle, John justified, if they all have the same family name should they decide to move back to the US of A. Tina could not agree more and happily announced their decision to her sons... err...their sons. Imagine Tina's and John's surprise when the two boys vehemently protested.

"But Mama, we could not take Uncle John's family name. Flores is just fine. Let's keep it that way, please" they pleaded in chorus. John and Tina exchanged incredulous glances, shrugging their shoulders, obviously dismayed. "I know you love your father, but he is gone. He is a very reasonable man, god bless his soul...I know that he is happy that we found a very good man for you... for all of us. John loves you very much and wants you to be his real sons. I'm sure your father would understand that." Tina explained, feeling a little embarrassed and apologetic that John would be offended by the apparent snub.

Tom being the elder spoke out. "Actually, that is not our concern, Mama. We love to be Uncle John's sons and he knows that. But if we will have his family name, we will become the butt of jokes in the neighborhood and in school, especially. It will not sound so good"

Tina knitted her eyebrows and thought for a while... then upon discernment, burst into uncontrollable laughter...

John's family name is Manghar.

And it would sound sexy but vulgar after "Tim" or "Tom" in Ilocano!

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Su-pot ti saan nga agkatawa hehehe.

-ise.